notstpd:

_{“i am a tsunami, my tears raise water levels high enough to flood. my pain and anger create rough waters, an undertow that sinks ships”  //      highly private and selective jane ives of ‘stranger things’.  est. sept 2016 & rebooted feb 2018   - developed by lux  {c}} 

notstpd:

_{“i am a tsunami, my tears raise water levels high enough to flood. my pain and anger create rough waters, an undertow that sinks ships”  //      highly private and selective jane ives of ‘stranger things’.  est. sept 2016 & rebooted feb 2018   - developed by lux  {c}} 

notstpd-a:

_{thinking of rebooting this blog tbh. i haven’t felt good about anything for awhile.}

this blog is an archive, i’ve rebooted on a new blog for the sake of my comfort and wellbeing. hoping that a fresh blog will help me get back on to jane! :D 

_{thinking of rebooting this blog tbh. i haven’t felt good about anything for awhile.}

onlyvirgins:

_{“it’s a monster.    some kind of monster!   some kind of monster right here in derry and it’s - it’s killing kids!”}    

                                _{/  highly selective richie tozier.  penned by lux.}

sewerbound:

DERRY, MAINE  - JULY 22, 1989 - MISSING GIRL! 

JUNE ‘JUNEBUG’ KEATINGS, AGE 12. LAST KNOWN SIGHTING? UNKNOWN!

                    

                     ind. sel. IT original character   - written by lux.

_{me, doing one reply after not coming on here for what seems like 12 years: 
me: phew. that was a lot of work. time to log out again.}

silverawayyy

SHOULDERS dip. energy deflates. cannot help but also feel a little defeated. still nothing. why cannot he make her see she was not in the wrong? it was him. all him. had he not try to impose. had he tried to snap her back to reality, then maybe. just maybe… he would not have gotten hurt. 

yes! he was the one that harm met in the matter… 

but there was no blame. no pointing fingers. just a boy who realized what he did & was trying to set it right. cannot have hate herself for any bit longer. bill sighs. he’ll try once more. he scoots forward. just a tad. to minimize the distance. please he signs. you are not a monster.

_{it’s a reassurance that’s appreciated no matter how hesitant you are to take it. the guilt looming over your shoulders was near too inviting to take than the soft comfort of a friend.   hurt him, hurt him, hurt him.     it was something you hadn’t meant to do, never would have dreamed to hurt the boy that had saved your life not too long ago.  as if you had intended to hurt something that darkness had already touched.  shoulders slump, knees tugging tighter to your chest as arms envelope them, holding yourself together to avoid falling apart.} 

_{it had been time to admit defeat, hands raise to form symbols to express some form of apology and cease fire.  it was time to find peace within mind and within this moment.       im sorry. didn’t mean to hurt you.}

notstpd:

_{‘FRAGMENT OF CHAOS: THOUGHTS AND HOPES FROM LOST PLACES AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN’ POETRY SENTENCE STARTERS // poetry collection by lux irvine available for purchase on amazon: here}

• “ i’ve had countless ideas ”
• “ help me face the monsters under my bed ”
• “ i’ve got stories to write ”
• “ maybe it’s finally time ”
• “ your story is worth telling ”
• “ it’s like you put the stars in the sky ”
• “ i don’t mean to make a cliche ”
• “ lately everything i seem to say sounds like an apology ”
• “ i wasn’t strong enough to pick up the broken pieces ”
• “ i want to sleep with you ”
• “ i won’t let them get to you ”
• “ from within your pain, comes glory ”
• “ how many nights did we spend wishing for things that never came true?”
• “ what does that make me? ”
• “ how much does one sacrifice for others before they lose themselves? ”
• “ i needed you to break me so i could find myself ”
• “ don’t ask me what i’m doing because i don’t always know ”
• “ your body is convenient ”
• “ i’m sorry that it had to come to this ”
• “ it takes all of my efforts just to not drown ”
• “ you were underestimating my strength ”
• “ what does it mean to be okay? ”
• “ you can buy sex but you can’t buy love ”
• “ there is a symphony in me waiting to be sung ”
• “ perhaps there was part of me that still needed you ”
• “ you’ve mastered the ways of breaking your own heart ”
• “ i have always been quick to love and quick to break ”
• “ i wanted to plant flowers in the empty spaces of my body so maybe i could find something beautiful to appreciate ”
• “ i am sorry i am never there when you need me ”
• “ i gave you my body and my heart and now i want them back ”
• “ i woke up wanting to love you only to realize that you were no longer mine to love ”
• “ you told me that you loved me ”
• “ you are new flowers blooming after a spring rain ”
• “ i guess i forgot what it was like to burn ”
• “ ask me what it’s like to lose yourself ”
• “ everyday is halloween for me ”
• “ please tell me why missing you feels like pushing a mountain ”
• “ there are cobwebs in the corners of my room ”
• “ our hearts break in different ways ”
• “ i should have been loving myself before loving you ”
• “ you deserved better than what i had given you ”